Pet names, pet peeves!

Zeheri

That’s my name in my friend circle.

Before I tell you the story behind it, I think it is best that I start with all the nicknames I’ve got in my life.

The first ever name I got was Baagru. It’s short for Bagar Billa (it’s a kind of overtly active animal). My grandfather called me by that name. I never really came to know why he did that, but to this day, whenever anyone in my family remembers my grandfather, they definitely say something about that particular name of mine.

Then there are names that I wish had stuck with me because they highlight how I was once a sweet, innocent and loveable kid. Like, Mitthu (common name for pet parrots) that my mom used to use and, ofcourse, Mitwa (Hindi for close friend and, incidentally, resembles my actual name) that almost everybody in our family used.

School started, and classmates called me mostly Yadav or certain variations of it like yado, yadu, jadu etc. I have to say here that it was the first and last decent nickname I ever got. After this, all my names range from lewd to sick to even racial!

Like Gunda (ruffian) which eventually changed to Gundi (female ruffian) since my classmates thought that Gunda was too manly.

I mend my ways and changed all my habits (abusing and beating up people) that gave me that name soon, and became a nerd. Maybe that’s why people reverted to my older name, much to relief of mine.

When I was in 11^th standard, somehow people related my dark circles with masturbation and started calling me Mutthi (stands for fist, but is also slang for masturbation). This was one of my most humiliating names (obviously!). There was another Amit in our class, and soon they started calling him Mutthi too. Eventually, to distinguish, they named us junior and senior, appended with Mutthi as and when required.

In between somewhere, Bright, a friend of mine, started calling me Khatana. Reason behind it was extremely outrageous. Apparently, he used to know an Amit Khatana from his school and so he found it more convenient (as if remembering Yadav was too difficult). And much to my surprise, this one name remains my most popular name till date. Everyone including my teachers and friend’s parents called me by this name.

Proof?

Once, a friend came to my house and asked my mom

“Aunty, Khatana ghar pe hai (is Khatana home)?”

“Yahan to beta Yadav hi rehte hain (everyone here is Yadav only).” my mom replied.

College started. People started calling me Kala (black) due to my complexion. This was plain stupid, not to mention outrageous (I live in India for god’s sake). And soon enough, it was changed to Naag (snake, they are associated with black).

When my gift of gab started showing its colors (I am, arguably, tough to beat at arguments and can humiliate anyone quite easily) they started calling me

Zeheri (venomous).

So, here I am.

Zeheri

Going around “biting and killing” anyone with my deadly Zeher (venom).

That’s all about my nicknames. I love some, I loathe some, but of course, they make my identity. Besides, everyone in this world has to go through all this.

Part of life, they say.