Deep throat

First time it happened was 4 years back.

I had read in a newspaper TV guide that Zee Cinema was going to air Kamasutra 30 minutes past midnight. I eagerly waited for it whole day long. It never occurred to me that our only TV is in my parents’ bedroom and so, watching it might be a bad idea. Of course, I was thinking from my crotch.

I watched it for some 20 minutes and nothing even remotely erotic came up (as I realized later in life, for a movie with such a title, it doesn’t have much sexual content).

Then it happened, as Naveen Andrews was about to hump Indira Verma.

‘What are you doing?’ it was my dad.

I was shocked beyond my control. I fumbled for the remote and managed to switch to some sports channel.

‘I was wanted to see the score dad.’ this was an extremely stupid thing to say given that it was a repeat telecast.

‘Can’t you see people are trying to sleep here? Now get lost or I swear you’ll be sorry.’ he was genuinely weary, and obviously I hadn’t outsmarted him. He definitely knew what was going on.

For many days after that I wasn’t able to face my dad. After so any years now, finally I was over that incident. But life had other plans.

It happened again. About 4 hours ago.

I was kinda rearranging my pornography collection and was sampling one clip when dad entered the room. I managed to close the window but it was too late by then.

‘No no, keep watching, why are you closing it? That’s what you do on internet, huh?’ he taunted.

I was too embarrassed to say anything. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything more.

Later, in the evening, I took on my whole family alone to prove my innocence. I knew that bluffing was the only option if I wanted to grab onto any chance to save my face. I argued that it was just an ordinary movie and a kissing scene was going on, and I didn’t want dad to see me watching that.

By sheer luck, they bought it.

I thank you Ricky Fitts (of American Beauty).

“Never underestimate the power of denial.”