How I saved my brain and screwed my life?!

All you need to do is keep on cramming (or mugging as we call it in India).

This is the basic rule of our whole education system.

Cram all the stuff up thoroughly (which, by the way, won’t be of any use in future) and vomit it all out on the answer sheet during the exam. Come out the examination hall totally brainwashed and get yourself ready for another year (or semester) of cramming. Not to forget the brain cells that burned out due to constant pressure, burden and exhaustion.

Evolution is a constant in life, and thus came people like us (the latest of youths, as they call us, who keep on devising new methods of avoiding hard work). We used the concept of cache memory as the principle underlying our revolutionary method that kinda helped us break the aforementioned “system”.

We subconsciously allotted a small part of our main brain as the cache brain. Now, this cache brain (just like cache memory) is a smaller and faster storage space. Now all we had to do was to carefully plan out the minimum possible (or required) amount of crap to be crammed to fare well in exams.

And then we could easily cram (record) all that stuff up (faster! In just one last night before the exam) in our cache brain, use this cache during the exam and, ultimately, format the cache as soon as we came out.

This way we could save all those cells and, of course, the stuff stored in our main brain; like the name of our favorite porn star (was it Lisa Ann or Vicky Vette?!), the number of days since we last enjoyed the booze (for bragging purpose), dates of all the forthcoming matches (football, cricket, tennis, it doesn’t matter, we are “men”, give us anything), the number of cigarettes left in my pack and god only knows how much of other more-important-than-life information.

After all, it’s life not a joke, you gotta have your priorities right!

Of Birthdays.

Got a break from college today.

Our CM’s father expired. So it was an off-day (nothing to be happy about, I mean I was all set for college when the news came in, so no luxury of sleeping till noon or anything, and, of course, someone died).

Ironically (not really, but from a weird point of view), it’s my dad’s birthday today. It’s always been kinda confusing for me; you see, for such a sharp mind, I never seem to remember birthdates.

I mostly forget my sister’s (she is always bummed about it).

I don’t care to remember my dad’s (it’s not his actual one, as in, it’s just-on-papers)

And mom’s? I don’t even know when it is! C’mon now, nobody knows it, it’s just that I even forget the fake birth date that has been assigned to her by our family (just to make her happy).

I can only imagine what kinda paradise my parents lived in, where no one bothered to record a newborn’s birth date (let alone remember it).

Oh, good ol’ days!

I need a fuckin' time machine.

It’s hard to believe how it’s already been a month of this year.

As I’m growing old and life is catching up on me, it feels as if I’m slowing down. Life is running by me too fast. Mostly I try to remain oblivious to it, or truth be told, I choose to ignore it, but sometimes it does make my head spin.

I mean, it feels like just yesterday when I promised myself that I’ll change and kinda make everyday of my life count, and suddenly, I’m one month down and despite all my efforts I still don’t know what I have achieved in that time.

Can’t really look for help anywhere else, I mean everyone I look at is as confused as me (or even more). Now I think that maybe I think too much. I should relax a bit.

And for that, I’ve this copy of Doctors in my hand and this mirror in front of me (I look in it and try to console myself by repeatedly saying that ‘at least I’m trying’).

Now where’s that pack of cigarettes…